One Today; One Tomorrow

Yesterday was Angel Food distribution day and I look forward to those one day a month. On yesterday I was privilege to go with a fellow volunteer to deliver food to a gentleman who was 88 years old and goes by the name of Mr. Holt. If you have never been in a place that everyone has forgotten there you would have arrive at where Mr. Holt lives. His residents is in what many would called The Bottoms. But, instead of allowing his location to determine his happiness this man was waiting on his wheelchair ramp for us to visit with him. As we approached he looked up and a short smile came across his face and he welcomed us with much expectation. My heart began to sank as I look at his tattered cloths that really didn't seem to bother him and neither did the fact that his shoes where almost ten years old. As he welcomed us into his sparse quarters he told us to enter first while he turned his wheel chair around and to not let his kittens out. He was a proud owner of five new baby kittens and didn't want them to wander out into the common area to be harmed or lost. We went into the apartment toting what we thought was just enough food to make it through a week or two but to Mr. Holt that box was like Christmas. The other volunteer did what he could not to cry at what we were looking at in the apartment and then in the refrigerator. I held it together as best as I could while swallowing and holding back the tears. This was no accident that God allowed me to come by this place today I told myself and I was glued to my spot in his less then 100 square feet apartment. He rolled in with his wheel chair and greeted us again with the best smile and look he could give us. It was then that I had a chance to observed his face for the first time and thought I saw my granddad in his eyes. They were old but had a hint of blue around them saying to me I have live a long and hard life and have many regrets. Today is not one of them. We began to unload his food and tell him what we had brought. He seem to agree with each item and nodded as we placed them in the frig. He glanced up at me as we finished and I looked him in his eyes and I said to him, "It's good to see you". He replied, "It's good to see you". I thought he called my name and I had to shake myself because I never mentioned my name. So I smiled back and so OK, God, I see you too. We prayed and began to leave, but as I was the last person to leave I turned around to close the door and get one last look at Mr. Holt. He was sitting there in his wheelchair looking at the food we had brought him with tears running down his face. I shut his door and prayed to God. Not that we had made such a great impact on Mr. Holt's life but thanking God that Mr. Holt had made an impact on mine. What this encounter has done to me bloggers I cannot begin to write about. My heart is so touched just writing this I can't stop thinking about how much I have to give yet have not made a great impact on the world. Mother Theresa once said, "If you can't feed the world feed one". Today I will feed one and tomorrow another. Your city is filled with people like Mr. Holt who live in the bottoms and have been forgotten. I challenge you to go and seek out the forgotten and let them know that God has not forgotten them. Feed one today and then one tomorrow.

Major in the Minor

Most of working America live an unbalanced life. Everyday we wake up with so many things to do. We are busy doing this and that yet mostly nothing gets done that we plan to do in a days time. Yet, the things we didn't plan for get done. I went to visit a friend after setting time aside to do so only to find that she was late to our meeting and it took her almost 30 minutes to calm down. After she'd calm down she became so needy in order to get in a state of relaxation, it was just about time to go when she hauled off and confessed to me, "I had a good time". Looking at her in shock, I could only image what she would do if she really had time. When I was working long hours each day, I found that the best way to really relax was to not allow my schedule to become too hectic that I didn't find the time to "smell the roses". It was my practice and still is to only have one major project that I work on at a time and two minor projects that I can accomplish within a days time. That way I walk away from my day having completed the minor and chipped away at the major. Yes, I majored in the minor. Now that I am no longer working outside of my home, I still practice this religiously. People seem to always have emergencies and last minute things do come up. But, don't allow someones inability to plan to become your emergency. Because once you allow it to happen it becomes the norm. Taking on a project that is not your own adds stress to your life and throws your balanced life off. Sometimes this isn't done consciously but because we have made a habit out of it it has become our personality, responsibility and job. We clean up other's mess and we call it multi-tasking or hyper-tasking. Believe it or not just look at your job description. Don't get me wrong helping others is part of being a team member, but each team member has their responsiblities and so do you.

Window Pane

Most of life is spent looking out a window. From the first crib you are placed in to the hurst window you take your last ride in. As a child there was a window seperating me from where I wanted to be, outside. As a teenager there were places I wanted to go and people I wanted to be with but could only look through the window of my bedroom and watch others interact. I wanted to be out there living among them interacting with the world as everyone else did. I wanted out of my side of the window thinking that life on the other side was much better. Although my grandmother tried to warn me I had no idea what I had to go through to interact with the world I desired to be a part of so badly. You see between me and the world was not just a window but pain (pane). Yes to live on the other side of the window I had to go through the pain to get to the other side. Pain is not something one really discusses but I didn't listen to all the warning signs. Girl, you really don't want to ____ or you really ought not to _____. I only had my eyes on the other side of the window and not so much what it would cost me to live on that side. As I looked closer at the people I so desperately wanted to interact with once I got on the other side of the window, I saw great dull pain on their faces. Something I had missed. It took me a while to realize that the dullness came from going through the window pane. I too had pain from going through the window, but I met someone who healed me and removed my dullness. His name is Jesus and you too can live a painless life. Once the he removes the dullness there is nothing you cannot do or be. I thank LaSandra Hill for a June 1, 1991 day in her dentist office. She saw my dullness and pain and she introduced me to the rest of my life. Although living life has it's own ups and downs I no longer live hopeless. Now the window that I look forward to is the window that God opens to pour out blessings.

Seasons Change

Seasons change and no one knows when they come or go but yet they change just the same. A sign of maturity is knowing when the change has occurred and that it's time to move. Over the last week of my life I left a season and I recognized it was time to change. The hard part about moving is the people around you don't seem to understand. We all know of people who get caught in seasons and moving becomes life threatening to them. I don't want to be a person who gets caught in between seasons. Today I move according to the season I'm moving into. I love days just before fall - the evidence of life and the knowing that the earth will make a gradual change due to motion. The retreat of the plants, the dying of the old to give way to the new, and the smell of life trying to survive. Today I know for sure I am a daughter and not an orphan. One person told me an orphan learns to depend on no one but learns to survive for themselves under their own power. They live in survival mode and nothing else matters. I am not sure how true that statement is but I am a daughter who depends on her Father to cover and provide. Today I left a place only to follow my father to a place he has made especially for me. Remember seasons change and nothing remains the same - only God is constant.