Window Pane

Most of life is spent looking out a window. From the first crib you are placed in to the hurst window you take your last ride in. As a child there was a window seperating me from where I wanted to be, outside. As a teenager there were places I wanted to go and people I wanted to be with but could only look through the window of my bedroom and watch others interact. I wanted to be out there living among them interacting with the world as everyone else did. I wanted out of my side of the window thinking that life on the other side was much better. Although my grandmother tried to warn me I had no idea what I had to go through to interact with the world I desired to be a part of so badly. You see between me and the world was not just a window but pain (pane). Yes to live on the other side of the window I had to go through the pain to get to the other side. Pain is not something one really discusses but I didn't listen to all the warning signs. Girl, you really don't want to ____ or you really ought not to _____. I only had my eyes on the other side of the window and not so much what it would cost me to live on that side. As I looked closer at the people I so desperately wanted to interact with once I got on the other side of the window, I saw great dull pain on their faces. Something I had missed. It took me a while to realize that the dullness came from going through the window pane. I too had pain from going through the window, but I met someone who healed me and removed my dullness. His name is Jesus and you too can live a painless life. Once the he removes the dullness there is nothing you cannot do or be. I thank LaSandra Hill for a June 1, 1991 day in her dentist office. She saw my dullness and pain and she introduced me to the rest of my life. Although living life has it's own ups and downs I no longer live hopeless. Now the window that I look forward to is the window that God opens to pour out blessings.

Seasons Change

Seasons change and no one knows when they come or go but yet they change just the same. A sign of maturity is knowing when the change has occurred and that it's time to move. Over the last week of my life I left a season and I recognized it was time to change. The hard part about moving is the people around you don't seem to understand. We all know of people who get caught in seasons and moving becomes life threatening to them. I don't want to be a person who gets caught in between seasons. Today I move according to the season I'm moving into. I love days just before fall - the evidence of life and the knowing that the earth will make a gradual change due to motion. The retreat of the plants, the dying of the old to give way to the new, and the smell of life trying to survive. Today I know for sure I am a daughter and not an orphan. One person told me an orphan learns to depend on no one but learns to survive for themselves under their own power. They live in survival mode and nothing else matters. I am not sure how true that statement is but I am a daughter who depends on her Father to cover and provide. Today I left a place only to follow my father to a place he has made especially for me. Remember seasons change and nothing remains the same - only God is constant.

Overwhelmed? Then You Are Needed.

I'd been given a project at work and if you know me once I've started working on something I like to dig in 100% like a pit bull. Well instead of being allowed to just focus on the project, I get called into meeting after meeting after meeting. I was even put on on a team to head up another minor project. Well, while in one of those other side bar meetings, everyone seemed to have something to say about what needed to be done to move my main project along. Yet not one had the time to dedicate toward helping me successfully complete it. I sat in the meeting with my thoughts drifting from person to person remembering how I've stopped in the middle of a projects to assist others in achieving their goals or complete their projects with them. I'm usually a team player, but my thoughts were getting the best of me. As I thought about all the help given to others, I shook myself realizing I was getting self absorbed, caught up in pride and truly stirring my self righteousness up. Who am I that I should think more highly of myself than I ought to? Why should I get a pat on the back each time I did my job; no one else does. I was placed in this job to help others solve their problems and not the other way round. I am excellent at multi-tasking and project managment and thrive under pressure. Instead of complaining and grumbling I should be thankful that my skills are being noticed and optimized in areas needed. Think about it if they were not I wouldn't have a job. There is a need and I am there to meet that need. It feels so good to be needed even though at times it can feel a bit overwhelming. So when you feel overwhelmed and stressed, change your perspective toward others who ask for help. Look at it this way, you are wanted, needed and sought after by your colleagues and boss and your skill set is valued. Your opinion is valued. No one else can do your job better than you can. You were placed where you are to do what you do the way you do it. Fulfill that purpose because it's an honor.

Expand Your Circle

For those of you who are looking for new friends or new experiences, expand your circle. You know what circle I'm talking about. We all live in our own world with our close net family and friends. We often get so comfortable with our net we rarely cast it out to catch any new friends and God forbid we don't accept strangers into our family very well. It's safe and nonthreatening that way. I once read a book from Dr. Neil Warren - eharmony guy. In this book he challenges the reader that if you want to find a mate, you have to expand your circle of friends. Position yourself to find new friends. Volunteer with new people. Go to different places and do things different. Well, this year I made a pack with myself that I had to get out of the rut I was in. To expand my circle and step out of my comfort zone and make new friends and forge new relationships I had to act or propel myself forward. If you don't know, I am an introvert who plays and extrovert for the sake of being able to function in a world made for extroverts. I am very comfortable going days without leaving the house or talking to anyone but my husband. I once thought that I had some type of phobia but now I realize that I am just content. To make a long story short, today I really stepped out of my space and stretched my circle. I met someone today that made me want to become friends and to reach outside myself to bond. Before leaving to meet this person I really prayed that God would give me the patience to listen and the gentleness to be able to walk away if it didn't work. I really didn't want another freindship that would drain my joy or become so cumbersome that I withdrew even more. Boy, God made this connection and it was so clear in the first two minutes. Yes, my circle did grow today and so did I. Everyday I expect God to show me, me. I expect him to grow me out of me and help me to grow into him. It's hard to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and that's where I am with God. The more he shows me me, the more uncomfortable I am. What if God was an introvert and never forged relationships outside his close netted family and friends? Where would I be today. I thank you father for showing initiative. Thanks for modeling the way.