Window Pane

Most of life is spent looking out a window. From the first crib you are placed in to the hurst window you take your last ride in. As a child there was a window seperating me from where I wanted to be, outside. As a teenager there were places I wanted to go and people I wanted to be with but could only look through the window of my bedroom and watch others interact. I wanted to be out there living among them interacting with the world as everyone else did. I wanted out of my side of the window thinking that life on the other side was much better. Although my grandmother tried to warn me I had no idea what I had to go through to interact with the world I desired to be a part of so badly. You see between me and the world was not just a window but pain (pane). Yes to live on the other side of the window I had to go through the pain to get to the other side. Pain is not something one really discusses but I didn't listen to all the warning signs. Girl, you really don't want to ____ or you really ought not to _____. I only had my eyes on the other side of the window and not so much what it would cost me to live on that side. As I looked closer at the people I so desperately wanted to interact with once I got on the other side of the window, I saw great dull pain on their faces. Something I had missed. It took me a while to realize that the dullness came from going through the window pane. I too had pain from going through the window, but I met someone who healed me and removed my dullness. His name is Jesus and you too can live a painless life. Once the he removes the dullness there is nothing you cannot do or be. I thank LaSandra Hill for a June 1, 1991 day in her dentist office. She saw my dullness and pain and she introduced me to the rest of my life. Although living life has it's own ups and downs I no longer live hopeless. Now the window that I look forward to is the window that God opens to pour out blessings.

Seasons Change

Seasons change and no one knows when they come or go but yet they change just the same. A sign of maturity is knowing when the change has occurred and that it's time to move. Over the last week of my life I left a season and I recognized it was time to change. The hard part about moving is the people around you don't seem to understand. We all know of people who get caught in seasons and moving becomes life threatening to them. I don't want to be a person who gets caught in between seasons. Today I move according to the season I'm moving into. I love days just before fall - the evidence of life and the knowing that the earth will make a gradual change due to motion. The retreat of the plants, the dying of the old to give way to the new, and the smell of life trying to survive. Today I know for sure I am a daughter and not an orphan. One person told me an orphan learns to depend on no one but learns to survive for themselves under their own power. They live in survival mode and nothing else matters. I am not sure how true that statement is but I am a daughter who depends on her Father to cover and provide. Today I left a place only to follow my father to a place he has made especially for me. Remember seasons change and nothing remains the same - only God is constant.