Forever Sisters

Today I sat across the table from a real yahoo. She appeared from her outer shell to be an intelligent being, yet the air between her ears occupied emptiness. How can one be so successful yet so stupid, yes a real yahoo. Monica, that's what I'll call her, just sat there yapping about absolutely nothing and I allowed her to waste an hour of my time. All I wanted to do was to have lunch and get back to my own mundane life, but no she had to interrupt my day, my thoughts, and my life with her on again off again love problems. Doesn't she know that I can see through all of her so called lies. Maybe she thinks she winning me over, but in reality it's her pathos attempt to convenes herself that she is right. God, now would be the time to silence the lamb. Monica for the third time in the last three years is engaged. Can you believe it? Yes, a highly successful lawyer engaged to a two dollar thug. I'm listening but I'm not. What could she possibly see in someone she defended two years ago. Eighteen months this thug got and she's attracted to his inner self. I'll give her some inner self, "Find Yourself!" I smile and tried to move the conversation forward only to have it land on her life again. One day she will realize that I'm just not caring about it anymore. God I pray that this will be the last time. It's not like she's going to marry him. She never does. It's the game that draws her and when she no longer wants to play, the brother has to go. Yet, there was the first one, yes the first one, Jeff is. Wow, that I thought was her soul mate. Jeff went to college with us at good old Southern. Every girl on this side of the Mississippi would have brought him home to meet the folks. He truly loved Monica and she just couldn't see it until it was to late and he was too hurt. Jeff and I have kept in touch over the past few years. He's coming in this weekend for a game with some school buddies and want to get together for lunch. Why couldn't she just have married Jeff and put them both out of their misery. I guess I know that answer. He was white and she wanted to be, but just wasn't. The only line love can't seem to cross, the racial barrier. Who knows maybe Jeff and Monica will end up together. Even though she doesn't deserve him, she really loves him. Jeff was the mold breaker and he walked away with her heart over seven years ago and since then all of her relationships are compared to that one. Since then, she has made everyone pay for the one that got away has she made the last few pay for the first one is just a mystery to us all. Monica loved Jeff yet it scared her to death that she would allow a person to know her vulnerable spots, her mean streak, her history, her soul and still love her even after seeing her in the morning. The other day I mentioned his name and it brought her to tears. Tears that she would never shed in front of me, yet they came when we parted. Her body language told me that if he were to come back and ask she would welcome him in. Is it possible to love so hard that it destroys any future you might have? I guess this is the proof. Monica keeps talking about the her plans to marry this thug until I couldn't take it anymore. I began to node my head in disagreement and she stop talking mid sentence. Well, finely I got her attention. She was stunned. Monica snapped, "Trinity, I've never, since we've been friends seen you not on my side in something." I had had it! "It's the notion isn't it, the game, the chase or is it who is going to drive the other away firs? Is that what you like or love? You know I've seen you look, chase, date, get involved, engaged and then the interest or the fun deminishes! What is wrong with you? I think you are in love with the idea of marriage but you suffer from commitment (itice). Until you are ready to truly love yourself stop dragging others into your pathetic little world. Never once have you turned around and looked at the broken lives you've left behind or the tarnish you have placed on all those hearts you've broken. I'm sick of it and you too. I will not sit here and listen to another one of your dimwitted engagement stories. This is real life and not some romance novel or movie. Snap out of it!" Boy, that showed her. I left before she had a chance to say another word. Back at work things seem unfruitful. I looked at the stack of files needing to read them all, but my mind was on what I said to Monica. I've never been that bold when it came to speaking to others in that tone although I've thought it. I'm sure her feelings were hurt and she probably won't speak to me for a couple of days. I'll count them as holidays. Meanwhile, I checked my email and what do you know, Jeff is coming in a day early. Why am I always picking up Monica's dirty laundry? Though I read his email, I really didn't read it until something caught my eye. Reggie is coming. Yeah, Reggie that scum sucking toad he calls a friend, who constantyly gives him all the wrong advice. Maybe Jeff and I don't need to meet after all if Reggie is coming along. Reggie and I have had our flare ups and disagreements and like always I bow down and take the blame for the misunderstandings or wrong doings. He seems to always get the best of me. Why am I still running from that. I have several years under my belt and besides I run my own business now. I tell people what to do and they do it. Who does he think he is anyhow! Ok Trinity, you're about to lose a fight that you're the only one in. See, you see what I mean, he makes me sick, just sick. I am not going to say I hate him, but there is no love lost. I emailed Jeff back and used a sorry excuse to get out of lunch with him. Just as I hit the send button, the phone rang. Guess who. That's right, Jeff. He caught me red handed. "Thought I'd catch you trying to back out of lunch cause of Reggie. Just thougth I'd let you know, I've wised up to him and he won't be there. Besides there something we two need to talk about and I need to have your level head the entire time." We exchanged a few words and I agreed to have lunch with him at a local popular Italian resturant at 1:00 pm on Thursday. We said our good byes and hung up the phone. I thought to my self he sounded serious. I wonder what's going on for Jeff to leave home early to meet with me. Something doesn't feel right with this but knowing Jeff it's important. I guess I'll have to wait three days to find out what this is. I looked over at the wall that held my life story on it and couldn't image how a Mississippi girl could end up here, Nashville owing her own catering company. Out of college without a job, that's how. Yeah, I went back and got a masters and then even a Ed. D. But,it's hard to find a job in the degree you have unless you are willing to sell your soul to the lucifer himself. I had a lot of interviews and even took a job working for large corporation; it just didn't work out. Business ethics seemed to always rub me the wrong way. Not my ethics but theirs. I even lasted two years, three promtions, and a car with one company, but just got tried of making money for someone else on their terms and their hours just eating away at my chance of having a life outside of work. I'm glad I quit. If I hadn't, I would not have ended up with Eligant Eats and the clients that I enjoy serving now. I glanced over at the different write ups in the Tennessian and some of the local magazines. Wow, who would have thought? I need a change and living my life through Monica isn't working anymore. So many singles out here whose focus is on "getting married." I want so much more than to just get married. I want spiritual success. Yeah, the kind that comes from above and no one can take from you. Ok, I admit it, I want Ophra's success. Me and several million others. About a year ago, I started teaching these 60 minute cooking classes during lunch time downtown. Tomorrow is another one and I can't wait. I see so many successful people roll a chair up to the table and I can't imagine what their life is like or what they want to be a year from now. There's a young lady in there, Michelle. She a fireball of energy and is sharp. She isn't looking to get married, just want to have the knowledge for herself. She says her moms an excellent cook and she wants to be the same way. She's a college student at one of the local universities. I enjoy seeing her enthusiasm in my classes cause she reminds me of me. I glanced over at the clock hoping more time had passed. My mind just isn't on it today. The phone rings just as I am about to shut things down for the day. Hi Trinity, "thought I would look you up when I got into town. How's things going?" Stunned I said "things are going ok. Why do you want to get together with me? We don't get along that well." "See", he said "that's why. I've been talking with Jeff and maybe you and I just got off wrong. For Jeff's sake I want to see if we can mend our ways and talk our differences out." "I'm game if you are Reggie, just let's not make this end in an apology of some sort coming from me mostly." "I understand Trinity, I haven't been the easiest person to get along with, but let me try this once." I agreed but it felt like I had given in to the devil himself. God why did I feel so dirty. This man called me for a truce not the other way around. Get over it Trinity. He's putting forth a good effort and for that at least hear what the man has to say. Ok already! I was so engrossed with the meeting with Reggie that I totally forgot about Jeff. God what web am I weaving here or are they up to no good? What game are they trying to play and am I a pawn in it? I need to just step off and look at this from a different perspective. Jeff, my best friends ex is coming in to town early wanting to meet with me alone. Reggie, his best friend is coming in early wanting to meet and mend ways after being at arms length since we've known each other. This smells to high heaven and I need to watch my step with them both. I'll listen to what they have to say, but I am not comitting to anything or to anyone for nothing. Monica hasn't taught me much, but this one thing I have learned from being around her is to never get involved in someone else's mess; you will get burned everytime.